Chapter 26.1

Have Your Say

I talk with the professionals around me. With the friends that have supported me. I have purposely asked the difficult questions to the naysayers, the truth tellers; some believers of Magic, some on it’s boundary and those who are outside the realms of Magic belief. But one thing is for sure, I have a healthy fear of getting it wrong.

In the early chapters, I said it is for the reader to decide if I’m insane or if, indeed, there is Magic to be had.

My conversations with my son from the very beginning made certain to include myself as one of the causes of his and my daughter’s incredible pain. There will be things I write in the forthcoming chapter ‘The Enabler’ which will highlight more of those trespasses. That their anger towards me is not only righteous but also an important emotion that needs to be worked through with the help of a professional therapist as part of their healing.

I often have visions of my daughter arriving at my doorstep. It’s raining. Her eye makeup is running down her cheeks. She’s screaming and resistant as I go to embrace her.

We both fall to the ground as the rain pours and I say nothing as I hear her screams.

We then just cwtch for what feels like an eternity.

The thing is, this doesn’t happen by her reading this blog (if she’s reading it). My son didn’t read it for a long time; his subconscious steering him away from the painful truth long before we both knew what that truth was. Resistance is an incredibly powerful thing. This only happens when someone outside all of this can help shine a light for her. A therapist for example. This happens even if she chooses never to rekindle our relationship in the non-physical sense for this blog was never about her and me; there are no sides, only truth. Personally, I think my contribution to her pain would be enough of a reason in itself for her to seek help.

If she were to read this, would it help her to see the opinions of the subscribers? Would that help her on the journey she finds herself on? People who have nothing to gain. Some I’ve never met. And some that actually have distanced themselves since for their own reasons.

I’m shit-scared putting this out there. I risk no responses. I risk responses which are not in alignment with my process. But what I don’t risk is having some kind of ‘barometer’ from the reader. This isn’t about my relationship with my daughter. This is about the relationship she has with herself and planting seeds of curiosity to guide her home. There will be no follow-up comments from me. No thanks. No deviation in my writing. This is purely for her, my daughter, so I ask you to please vote, even if you’re one of the quiet ones.

So here goes:

(Non-subscribers can vote when prompted by subscribing should you wish to.)

Edit (for the ambiguity) : Poll Question should read ‘Do you think it’s a good thing that I have suggested my daughter seek a therapist’s guidance in this blog’…. ADHD at its best!